How We Told Our Families

What I wanted to blog about next was the way in which we told the news to our families! The way it came about was very different for each. For some reason, I always thought Christmastime would be the ideal time to share the news that we were expecting. Lucky for us, we found out that we were pregnant in the first week of December, so this gave us the perfect timeframe in which to make our announcement! I suppose we told our news a little early, as I wasn’t 8 weeks along until the beginning of January, but Stephen and I felt comfortable sharing the news with at least our families.

The next times that were planned to see our families were the weekend before Christmas for my family, and then the weekend of Christmas for Stephen’s family. We wanted to wait to tell our families in person, so we didn’t have too long to wait. However, my aunt’s battle with brain cancer was drawing to a close, and my mom kept telling me that she wasn’t sure how much longer Auntie Bunny had. My mom visited with and helped support my aunt daily, saw her dwindling conditions, and told me that it could be any day. I felt devastated, but also my knowledge of the baby growing inside me weighed heavily on my heart because I wanted to share this special news with my aunt before she passed away. Would my aunt be around the next weekend when we came home?

I had Stephen to talk to, but thought I needed more guidance with my decision on what to do. After talking with my brother over the phone, I decided to tell the news over the phone to my Aunt Bunny, just a few days before I would see my family in person. If I told my Aunt Bunny, there were a couple of other people who would also have to know, my uncle and grandma, who lived with them.

On a Sunday night, I called my grandma’s phone. I told her that I had to share some news with her, but it was secret news that I just wanted to share with her and Aunt Bunny, no one else was allowed to know. I told her I was worried about Aunt Bunny and wanted her to know, but wasn’t ready to share the news with anyone else yet. By this time, I’d only said just this, but my grandma had already gotten the hint and was getting really giddy! I could tell she was probably bouncing up and down in her seat and she was making happy sounds. This continued when I told her the news that we were expecting! Then, she handed the phone over to Aunt Bunny.

I told my Aunt Bunny that I had very special news to share with her, but she had to keep it quiet because I hadn’t told anyone yet, including my mom. She seemingly understood and I told her the news. She was really excited and said, “you two are going to make the cutest babies ever!” I felt good about sharing the news with her, it was a special moment for us when we didn’t know how much time left. With the reassurance of my grandma, I was somewhat confident they could keep a secret from my mom for a few days.

The next day, in the early evening, I got a call from my mom who was on the freeway heading home from an afternoon with Aunt Bunny. She said, “You would never believe what Aunt Bunny said today. She asked me, ‘So, when’s Roon due?’ I had to tell her, Bunny, Stephanie is not pregnant.” I could see at this point that my mom really didn’t think I was pregnant, but that she thought my aunt was a little out of it; she was not doing very well. I wasn’t sure what to do. Should I let my mom continue thinking my aunt was crazy when she only had a few days left? Or should I tell my mom under very less than ideal circumstances, but be honest and not let her think that Aunt Bunny was crazy? I later learned that my grandma and Uncle Scott even played along with letting my mom think Aunt Bunny was crazy, as they were dead silent and keeping the secret during this whole conversation.

After a pause, I said, “Mom, maybe you should pull over.” My mom trembled, “What??” I didn’t want to say anything more until my mom was safely parked and off the freeway. I continued, “Mom, you should get off the freeway.” By this time, my mom knew something was going on, sensed that perhaps Aunt Bunny knew something she didn’t, and she began to cry huge, bewildered, happy tears. I felt very emotional, too, and it seemed like ages before she was finally off the freeway. By the time she was safely in a parking lot, the tears had subsided and I told my mom the news was true. I shared with her the details that I knew and my dilemma about telling Aunt Bunny or not. I told my mom that from what she had been saying, I didn’t know if she was going to live to see the next weekend and that I couldn’t have it on my conscious that I was going to have a baby and not share the special news wither while I could. My mom said that she was not upset, that it would be a happy memory that she could have that was shared with Aunt Bunny, and that she would keep it a secret from my family until Stephen and I came home that weekend.

Finally, the weekend finally came around, and Stephen and I were up north with my family and had the opportunity to share the news. I brought a few Christmas gifts, which we exchanged, and after that was done, Stephen said that there was one last thing. “We’re expecting!” he exclaimed. My family got very excited. What a relief! The news was finally known to everyone…immediate family, that was!

The news came about a little bit differently with Stephen’s family. We even got to share the news with them on Christmas Day! We also did not travel to see them, they came to see us on the way down to their big family Christmas get-together in Southern California. Stephen and I had Christmas morning to ourselves for the first time ever, while Stephen’s family was making the drive down to us. They arrived in the late afternoon, in time to have dinner together and exchange gifts. Instead of verbally announcing our news during gift opening, Stephen and I had found a “Baby’s First Christmas” ornament, wrapped it up, and addressed it to his mom and dad. Rich opened up the gift, and said to Nancy, “Look, Nance, it’s a little snowmen couple holding a snowman baby! How cute!” I guess he didn’t get it. We had to hint a little more. Stephen said, “Um, there’s a little hidden meaning behind it” and they got it right away. Rich said, “Oh, wow, you’re going to have a baby!” There was surprise and excitement; it was a special moment.

We also had fun announcing the news to Stephen’s grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins at our Christmas dinner the next day in Southern California. Everyone had noticed that there were no little little kids there, and the youngest cousins were not there this year. We had a toast and some general chatter before we officially started eating, and Stephen stood up and said, “Well, I know that everyone has noticed that we don’t have any little kids here this year, but next year, we will have a new addition to our family!” Again, there was surprise, excitement, and some toasts. It felt so good to share our news!